Cricket

The cricketing gods hate the Black Caps

The cricketing gods hate the Black Caps.

The latest MetService weather forecast for Hamilton is truly dire. If it’s anywhere near accurate, then the Black Caps’ once-rosy prospects of winning the third test and squaring the series are now doomed.

For an injury-depleted team that has defied all odds – and the significant weight of history – to forge a rare winning position against what is traditionally an utterly dominant foe, this is a cruel fate indeed.

For those of us who’ve taken our kids out of school so they can witness something rare and special in person (which wouldn’t be a rainy day in Hamilton, just quietly), it’s an equally cruel outcome.

Only merciless gods indeed would behave like this - teasing cricket tragics with just enough play over four rain affected days to engender hope, only to rip it away on the final day of the "summer".

Why do they hate us so? New Zealand cricket is harmless. It has never hurt anyone. Except, of course, those Bangladeshi batsmen hospitalised during the recent Neil Wagner-inspired Bodyline series.

And there was that time our nation ruined a world cup due to a morbid fair of surface-to-air missile-wielding Africans (possibly worth noting that, 14 years on, no planes have yet been down by SAMs attempting to land at Jomo Kenyatta International – although someone did take an unsuccessful pop at an Israeli passenger plane a year earlier as it exited Nairobi).

There was also that time the New Zealand captain decided to lose a match badly instead of losing only fairly badly in order to manipulate a tournament outcome.

Speaking of manipulating outcomes, there was that pesky London libel trial that insinuated rather strongly that not all of our national representatives acted to uphold the integrity of the game at all times.

But our players have certainly never done anything as dastardly as look to the dressing room for help with DRS reviews – that much is patently obvious.

Whatever we’ve done, this punishment does not fit the crime.

Did these heartless cricket gods not think of the children? They haven’t even got their school uniforms. There’s no prospect of a quick "stiff upper lip" speech and dumping them back at school.

This is a disaster.

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